Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Friends I Wish I Never Met

Over the past six weeks I've met many wonderful people. They have talked with me and comforted me through the toughest time in my life. They have been a shoulder to cry on, and offered advice or just a ear to listen. They have become important to me, and I'm glad I have them. But, truth be told, I wish I never met them. The only reason I have come to know these wonderful women is because they too have lost a child and are looking for healing. If my daughter was still alive I would never had sought them out. I would never have even though about them to be honest with you. I would never have needed them.

Over the past few weeks I've come to know them and think about them often. Although we have never met in person, their words stick with me each day. There is Kristi who lost her baby Eli at 16 weeks. And Brooke who's son Caden was stillborn due to T18. CLC who lost her daughter Hannah due to a cord accident. Julie who lost her baby Kelley at almost the same age I lost Brenna. Abby lost her baby Vivian born at 23 weeks. Christine's baby Lucy was stilborn, and she's pregnant again. Allison lost her baby Dashiell at at 24 weeks while on vacation, on Christmas of all days. The list goes on and on. I find myself thinking of at least one of them each day.

I consider all of you "friends". You understand me better than anyone in my life. You know how I feel and why I'm feeling it. You share your feelings with me, and I share with you. (Something I find very hard to do in real life.) I've come to depend on you for answers. I value each of you very much, and I'm glad I know you; but truth be told, I wish we never met.


Kristi said...

I'll give a great big fat Amen and Ditto to that! (but I'm really glad I have you all too!) OH, by the way... LOVE the pics that you got of Brenna from your phone - we still have Eli's on Jim's phone... I should try to get those off just in case something happens to the phone. It's very odd to have pictures of the kids on a carousel, playing at the mall and then Eli's delivery... very odd...

Christine (Lucy's Mom) said...

Holli-i'll always be here for any mother that comes after me and for any mother that walked this path before me. Sisters in sorrow, mothers bonded in loss. we all share a similar journey and holding each other is something we all need. Brenna 's picture is lovely and she is just one precious little girl.