The week before my baby died my step-daughter got married. I remember thinking how funny it was going to be when my baby was older and we could show her the pictures of her sister's wedding and she could see I was pregnant with her. I thought it was kind of funny we were marrying one off, and growing a new one at the same time. Now I can barely bring myself to even look at the pictures from her wedding. It really bothers me because we looked forward to planning her wedding, and we were so excited she was getting married to a great guy. The pictures from her wedding are the last pictures I have of myself pregnant. Now, I feel like they are tainted. They are a constant reminder of what I don't have. I feel think these pictures are the pictures of the "old me". She is someone I don't even know anymore.
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