1 Welcome to 2009. What have you left behind in the year just past? What do you hope to find in the year to come?
I have left behind the old me, and I hope to find part of her again. The always happy, always optimistic part.
2 We’ve just come through the season in which our culture touts cheer and peace and family togetherness rather relentlessly. How did your child’s death impact your experience of the “holiday” season, personally or culturally?
Honestly, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I expected to be bawling my eyes out. But instead I choose to focus on the family I still have here with me, and to be fully present for them.
3 If you celebrate in any way through December, are there ways you include or acknowledge your lost baby/babies?
My mother bought me an ornament for the tree that is engraved with her name, and has an opening for a picture. I put the photo of her footprints in it. Instead of packing it away until next year, I decided to keep it out. Right now it's hanging on the mirror in my bedroom.
4 Through the year are there any holidays, seasons, or parts of what were once cherished rituals that have changed for you because of your child’s death?
None. My family and I still have to live our life.
5 Do you do anything to remember your baby/babies’ birth and/or death day? Or will you?
I will. My son is already asking if he has to go to school on that day. (He doesn't!) I plan on taking the day off from work and spending it with him.
6 Is there anything about the winter season (for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere right now) that lifts your spirits? Is there anything that especially brings them down?
NOTHING! Especially in Michigan when the weather is not at all enjoyable.
7 During your hardest times, how have you found your way forward?
I do not know. I really don't. But, I think blogging is the most cathartic thing I have ever done.