Yesterday after I got home from work I was changing my clothes and my eyes locked on a picture of Brenna. It's her hospital picture and she's wearing a tiny little dress with pink flowers and a matching bonnet. (I kick myself for not getting that outfit from the funeral home. But I couldn't stand the thought of burrying her naked. That's a post for another day.) I picked up the picture and looked at it for a long time. It amazes me how much you looks like my son. The resemblance is amazing. I looked at her picture and it just all seems so unreal. After so much times passes you start to forget. Almost like she isn't even real. I had to remind myself that she was a real live person, and one year ago she was growing inside of me. It hasn't been that long since she was here. But it just seems so unreal. I hope I'm not alone in feeling this way. But for some reason, she seems so unreal to me. Like another person, in another life. Like it didn't even happen to me. I starred at her picture and remembered holding her. Feeling her soft skin. How light she was. How tiny. Even though I have those memories, it still doesn't feel real. It's kind of like someone else told me about it, and I am remembering their story.
You are all probably thinking I'm crazy right now. Maybe I am.