Monday, February 23, 2009

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today my stepdaughter got married. It was easily one of the happiest days for our family. I remember standing up there getting out pictures taken thinking how funny it would be to show the baby pictures of Jenna's wedding. I didn't get to dance too much. I tried to stay off my feet. I was feeling pretty tired. I regret not getting more pictures of myself with my stepdaughter, but everything the day seemed to pass so quickly.It was a great day. We were all so happy. Who knew that one of the best days of my life would be closely followed by the worst. Just 9 days later I would go into the hospital and early the next morning, my dead baby would be taken out of my womb. I did not get to fully celebrate Jenna's marriage. I still have a hard time looking at her pictures. I don't know if part of it is because she got them back while I was in the hospital, and I remember looking at them while I was all hooked up to a morphine pump. I think it's because they are the last pregnant pictures I have of Brenna. The day before I went into the hospital I took belly pics of myself. I didn't like them, and deleted them from my camera. I thought I had plenty of time to take more. I kick myself for being so vain. It didn't matter how rough I looked, I would give anything to have those pictures now. Even though I probably wouldn't look at them.

No comments: