Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Three Months

Dear Brenna,

It seems like just the other day you were born. I still think of you everyday, but the thought of you no longer makes me cry. Although I will miss you for as long as I live, I am at peace that things happened as they were supposed to. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and one day I hope to know why this happened to our family.

Your brother misses you terribly. He was really looking forward to having a baby in the house. He never got to see you (except for at your funeral) and that is one thing I regret. I wish I would have had someone go and get him. I wish he could have seen how beautiful you were, and how much you looked like him. He wouldn't have held you, he's not big on babies, but he would have liked to just look at you and see you.

Our entire family talks about you all the time. You are so loved. I sometimes get angry at God because it's not fair that you are more loved that some babies who are born here on earth! But then I remind myself that you are up there with Him, you never suffered, and you are happy. For that I am grateful.

I got your name tattooed on my foot. For the rest of my life, you will walk with me. You will be with me forever.

Although things didn't turn out like I thought they would, I would never take it back. I cherish the time we spent together. (I miss your kicks!) You are forever in my heart. I love you always.

Until I See You Again,
Mommy

3 comments:

CLC said...

Thinking of you. I wish she were here with you still.

Nastassja said...

Hi. I've been reading your blog for only a little while. I'm touched by your story. I especially love the tattoo on your foot and what it symbolizes (I cried upon reading it). You and your fam are in my thoughts.

Liz said...

Holli - your letter is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us. I am glad that you are at peace with what happened, actually I am a little jealous because I am not quite there yet with my Shannon. But I am proud of you.