Monday, October 6, 2008

7 Months

Seven months almost came and went without me realizing it. Last night when I went to bed I thought about it. I wondered if every month on the fifth I was going to think of her. Count in my head how long she's been gone...

Then I was jolted awake by tragic news. My best friend's fiance died last night. I introduced them last year on my husband's birthday. Shortly after she told me he was going to be the love of her life. She was right. They got engaged and move in together. She lived in my hometown so she had to quit her job to move out here. They were planning on having a baby. Last night he went out bow hunting alone. He didn't take his cell phone with him either. He fell out of his tree stand, and landed on his head. He tried to crawl home, and ended up collapsing. They looked all night, but didn't find him until this morning. It got below 30 degrees out last night. I think you can imagine what shape he was in. She is just beside herself. I feel horrible for her.

Now I know what it was like for my close friends to watch me suffer when I lost my baby. We've been friends since middle school. We had out babies together. We got married the same year. We took different paths in life, but we've always remained friends. What happens to her happens to me. I feel her pain. I've never really realized how painful it must have been for my friends when Brenna died. I just assumed they felt bad for me. I never realized how bad they hurt. I hurt so bad for her. She's been through some very tough times, and we all thought she finally had caught a break. This guy was just great. He treated her so well, and she deserved it. He was only 32 years old. I can't sleep tonight because I keep thinking of her. She is living my worst nightmare. It just breaks my heart. (They are having the funeral at the same funeral home we had Brenna's. That's going to be hard.)

I'm beginning to feel like I've got the kiss of death or something. (I've posted about several horrible tragedies these past few months.) Then, to top it all off. When I called my dad to tell him what happened, he told me his best friend and our close family friend died last night from a heart attack. You have got to be kidding me. (Did I mention today is my grandson's birthday?)

For those of you who don't know me in real life, you are lucky. I'm beginning to think I am bad luck.


Mrs. Spit said...

No, you are not bad luck. But when we are touched by tragedy and sorrow, we lose our ability to simply leave that tragedy and sorrow in the background of our lives.

When we hear of or see someone who is hurting, we remember, acutely, our brush with tragedy and sorrow and death. And we are more affected.

I have come to believe that this is a good thing. That if we are God's hand and feet, it is good that our heart's break when His does.

But it can be overwhelming. And I'm sorry.

Kasey said...

I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and your friend. I'm so sorry.

CLC said...

Holli, I am so sorry for your friend's fiance and your Dad's friend. How horrible. I think what Mrs. Spit said is right. I think we are more affected now. Maybe these things happened infrequently before, but we were probably able to bury our heads in the sand a little bit. And now that we know such bitter loss, it's impossible to do that when others experience loss. You are not bad luck. I am sure you will be great comfort to your friend. Again, I am so sorry.

Mrs. Mother said...

I am so sorry. I just can't imagine. Big hugs to you.