Sunday, February 21, 2010


Obviously the loss of my daughter was the saddest event in my life, but the day she was born wasn't the saddest day for me. At the hospital many things were happening. There were people visiting, nurses and doctors, and lots of medication in my veins. It felt like a dream.

When I came home my son stayed the night at my brother's house. Our home was so quiet. Lonely. I have never felt so sad in my entire life. I was literally the saddest day of my life. Even sadder than when she was born or buried. It was just awful. Even now when I think about it, I can feel what that day felt like. It was the most hopeless feeling I've ever felt.

"It was the saddest day of my life". I hear people say that all the time. But was it really the saddest day? Do they really mean that.

There is no doubt in my mind that, for me, the first day home from the hospital was the saddest day of my life.


JenJen said...

I remember leaving the hospital and knowing that we were leaving her there...but, for me the saddest day was the day that she went to the crematory...

Mrs. Mother said...

Mine was the day we got the diagnosis. I felt so hopeless, that nothing good would ever happen again or could happen again. When she died and after she was born, I knew she wasn't in pain anymore and never would be.

Suzy said...

I often hear people say "oh it was the worst day of my life" and I often think "was it? was it really?"
I often wonder whether their idea of the worst day compares to mine.

I remember the utter desolation I felt when we arrived in that cold, quiet house from the hospital too. For me it was worse than the hospital.