I don't think I've ever had a dream about Brenna. I've had dreams about me having a baby, or being pregnant, but they are never about her.
These past few months I've been having dreams about babies a lot. Being pregnant, adopting, finding a baby in a bush. In the dream, it doesn't seem to matter how I get the baby, but I always end up with one.
Although I'm OK with not having another baby, I'd be lying if I said that I don't want another one. I do. Very badly. But it is not in the cards for us, and I know that. It's still very hard for me when it seems like everyone close to me is having one, and I can't.
It's really hard to swallow. Especially when I can't even escape it in my sleep.