I think everyone in Deadbabyland knows that most people don't know what to say when it comes to your baby's death. So they say nothing. This is true for my brothers. They are younger than I am, all are single, and very uncomfortable about discussing the baby's death. I have a cousin who is like a fifth brother to me. He is an only child, and his mother suffered a brain aneurysm within a month of his birth. My mom has been a second mom to him, and whenever there is a family event I just assume he will be there because he is part of the family. (When I was in the hospital after my surgery he came with my brothers to visit me).
Yesterday we were discussing an accident he had. He was chopping wood while camping, missed the wood and stuck the ax into his leg. He actually hit the bone. It was a pretty serious wound. We were talking about it, and his subsequent scar. I mentioned my scar and how it healed. He said something to me that meant so much. He said, "What happened to you was the worst because you lost a family member". I was so taken aback that I just looked at him. Then he said, "You lost your baby". It meant so much to me, and I just love him for that. People usually don't mention it, and having him acknowlege that I lost a family member means the world to me.
So thank you Troy. That quick exchange meant more to me than you will ever know.
I started this blog in 2008 after the stillbirth of my daughter. Now it's not just about loss, but about life.
1 comment:
It is very rare to find someone who actually has not only something sensitive to say, but actually appropriate. Finally, you have found someone...now if I could just locate more of your cousin we will be in business!
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