I held a baby yesterday. It wasn't horrible at all. She was sleeping and I cuddled her. I loved it.
There have been a few times in these last few days where I've caught myself looking at a baby and wondering if she/he is the same age Brenna should have been. There was a pregnant woman in the checkout in front of me, ready to pop. I caught myself thinking we were pregnant at the same time and out babies should have went to school together.
Even though I think I'm really doing great, I catch myself thinking this stuff and then it makes me wonder... Am I going to think these thoughts forever? Ten years from now will I see a 10-year-old girl and wonder if her and Brenna would have been friends? I don't want to live my life wondering about those things.
Totally off topic, I've been Scrapblogging a lot lately. There is something really cathartic about it. I don't know why, but it makes me feel so good. I think it's because this is the only way I can have pictures of all my kids together. I've printed a few of these out at Wal.green's and they have turned out great. I framed one of Brenna and gave it to my mom. She put it on her mantle, which made me feel good. I'm so glad that she feels comfortable sharing her with her friends and the rest of our family.
Here are a few of my favorite Scrapblogs. I don't know if you can view them from google reader.