As my loss starts to become less painful this blog starts to be less about pain and more about life. I still think of my daughter daily, and sometimes I still hurt, but mostly I just think of her. Lots of things remind me of her, and I don't think that will ever change. I'm not sure I want it to. But the past few months have been very healing for me, and life has returned to normal. One thing my husband and I do not see eye to eye on is having another baby.
I don't think I posted on this blog that I was contacted by a mother who lost her daughter from a ruptured uterus. In her case caused by a car accident. She made me the happiest person in the world when she told me that she is now eight months pregnant with another daughter. There is hope for me to have another baby! Yay! I haven't shared this woman's story with my husband. Actually, I haven't told anyone except my "friends" on babycenter because I afraid people are going to think I'm insane for wanting another baby after all I've been through. I probably am.
My husband is really against having another baby, and actually had the nerve to tell me I should get my tubes tied. (For those of you who don't know I have major abdominal surgery two months ago when I lost my daughter and it took a long time to heal. You can read about it here.) I told him that the only surgery anyone in this house would be having is a vasectomy. He told me he'd rather have the doctor stab him in the eye than "operate down there". Then he actually said to me "We can't risk a malfunction!" Dead serious. As I write those words I can't stop laughing. It was so ridiculous. Exactly what kind of "malfunction" was he talking about? Men!
My husband is a great guy. He really is. Everyone likes him, everyone. He loves me like you can't imagine. He also really loves his penis. I tried to tell him I like it too and would never put it in any kind of danger. The doctor is a perfectly skilled individual who has done the procedure thousands of times. Besides, if he can't be trusted to make a tiny incision in your "guys", why are you going to trust him to CUT ME OPEN!!!! Hello?
So needless to say, that is a touchy subject.