He's a bit of a thinker, and comes up with some interesting questions. Yesterday he jokingly asked me what I would do if I had a gay child. This got me thinking. I had to tell him the truth: I have mixed feelings. I would love my children no matter what, that isn't a question. But I think I would fear for my child if they were gay. We all want our kids to have an easy life, and I don't think that being gay is the easiest life a person could live.
And I believe in God. I've read the bible and I know what it says about homosexuality. I've also read what it says about judging other people.
I can not stand people who hide behind the bible to spread hate and bigotry.
I can't stand people who quote one verse of the bible but forget the others.
Now, how do you relay that to a 14-year-old? How do I put it in terms he can understand? Especially when I don't understand it myself!
What I told him is that Leviticus 20:13 says: "'If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death;..." but the verse right before it (Leviticus 20:12) says: "'If a man sleeps with his daughter-in-law, both of them must be put to death. What they have done is a perversion;..." and I don't see anyone picketing or beating people up because of that. According to the bible they are both equally wrong.
He was quiet for a minute and thought about what I said.
Then I reminded him that our church teaches us all sin is equal. I told him that I didn't understand why some people think being gay is the ultimate sin but when someone has an affair on their wife they don't seem to mind, but they are both sins according to the bible. He thought about it longer, and still didn't really say much.
I reminded him I have friends who are gay.
Finally I decided to tell him honestly what I felt. I said, "The truth is, it's none of our business. What people do in the privacy of their own bedrooms isn't my business and it isn't your business either. Who someone chooses to have sex with doesn't have anything to do with me. It's between them and God."
The word "sex" coming out of my mouth was enough to make the poor kid want to jump out of the car. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but with me at that moment.
Still, I think he got the message.
The teen years are awful. Especially when they ask about things you are still trying to figure out for yourself.