I really don't want to have a repeat of last year where I drank too much and then cried all the way home after the fireworks. I don't understand why I was crying either, because that was one of the funnest nights in my life. Seriously, I still look at those pictures and laugh. We just had a ton of fun that night. I think it was the coming home part. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to go back to my life. I was tired of being sad, and if you mix sad and alcohol... watch out. I am not a sad drunk, I am not a crier. It was very unusual for me, and I don't plan on repeating it. This year I just feel different. I'm happy. I have things I am looking forward too. Last year, I couldn't say that. I'm not even close to the person I was this time last year. I feel like the old me. I laugh all the time. I enjoy life. I am happy. I still think of Brenna every single day. Usually many times a day. But thinking of her doesn't immediately make me want to cry. I have just accepted it as part of my life. As part of me. I can not change it.
I don't think I would want to anyway.
Have a SAFE Fourth Of July.
I started this blog in 2008 after the stillbirth of my daughter. Now it's not just about loss, but about life.
1 comment:
Here's hoping that there are no tears tonight, unless they're tears of happiness from laughing so hard!
I'm glad that you're finding yourself in a better place. Good for you :)
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