Thursday, May 21, 2009


How do you tell your pregnant friend that you feel like they are drifting away from you. How do you tell them you think it's because they are pregnant and you are not? How do you tell them you realize that they are trying to be sensitive to your feelings, and your loss, but withdrawing from you is really hurtful? How do you tell them that their being pregnant does not make you hate or resent them? How do you tell them that their absence is hurtful?

I don't know the right way to say it.


Crystal Theresa said...

maybe just tell your friend that you miss her?

Courtney said...

Just say it. But be sure to offer plenty of suggestions for what she can do differently to nurture your relationship- ie what kinds of interactions are easiest for you, what kind of news hurts the most to hear, whether you want her pregnancy update at all or via e-mail instead of the phone, etc. And since all good relationships are based on reciprocity, be sure to ask her what you can to nurture the relationship. If your friend is already trying to be sensitive to your feelings, she should be receptive.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

I have enjoyed reading your blog.
I am new to the blog world, but have seen the miracle of the blogging community and prayer in the last two days. Hope you will stop by my blog and pray for little Maggie.

CLC said...

I would just say it, although you have to make sure you phrase everything with the "I feel" so she doesn't get defensive. I think it's a natural reflex on other people's part.

Monty said...

Exactly how you blogged it. Send her a note, a card, an email. Tell her it's ok that she's pregnant.

I am in the same situation with a friend. It's scary. You don't want to say the wrong thing. You don't want to talk about the baby too much... Reach out to her. I'm sure she is just giving you the space she thinks you need.

Good luck. Thank you for writing about this. It will help me be more aware of how I treat my friend.