BABIES AND SHOWERS

Remember my friend K who is expecting twins? She invited me to her baby shower. I happened to be on the phone with another friend R when I got the invitation. R told me that K was worried that her being pregnant was bothering me. I love that she thought of me. K was one of the few people I saw right after loosing Brenna. She is a florist and my first trip out of the house was to see her to order flowers for Brenna's funeral. The truth is her being pregnant does not bother me at all. Would you believe I've forgotten she's pregnant a few times, crazy right? While her being pregnant doesn't bother me, the thought of going to a baby shower for two baby girls does not thrill me. Actually, it sound like torture! I am not going to go. But I really can't understand why her pregnancy doesn't bother me, but the shower does. Maybe it's because I didn't get to have my shower, and I was so looking forward to it. In fact, I haven't even been to a wedding shower since Brenna died. I think maybe it's because I was pregnant w/ Brenna when I threw my step-daughter her wedding shower. I don't know, but I don't think I will ever go to another shower again.