Tomorrow the little ticker to the left of this post will read 1 year since we said goodbye. I can not believe it's been one year.
My brother called me tonight to tell me he was thinking of me. He hadn't forgotten. I love that he called me. I asked him, "What do I call it? Is it her birthday?" Deathday just doesn't seem right. Neither does birthday. To be quite honest, none of it seems right or real. Her birthday should be this summer, and she should be crawling around my house right now...
I have been afraid of this day. But now that it is here it's not so bad. The part that bothers me the most is that now that a year has past everyone will expect me to be over it. Healed. Moved on. How do you get over the fact that a person died inside of you? How do you get over that? Especially when it was someone you loved, and wanted, with every fiber of your being.
I don't really have anything insirational to write, like Reese did. I'm suffering from the flu, and my period is due to start tomorrow. Another of Mother Nature's cruel jokes.
Most other bloggers relive their baby's birth on their birthday. I think you all know the story. Or if you don't , you know where to find it. Nothing has changed. The story is the same. I just don't know the ending yet.
Happy Birthday baby girl. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you, or miss you.