Friday, March 27, 2009

HAPPY BLOGOVERSARY TO ME!

Today is my first blogoversary. Three weeks and one day after we lost Brenna I started this blog. I think back to one year ago, and it seems like another lifetime. And it seems like just yesterday. I think to the time I started this blog. I remember trying to picture the future and I just couldn't. I had no hope. I had nothing to look forward to. It was, without a doubt, the worst time of my life. I have come a long way since then. My life is not even close to what I thought it would be. I am happy with my life right now. Truth be told, I've even come to accept that Brenna is not a (living) part of my life. I think I will always wonder why her life was so short, but I've come to accept the fact that it was. I've learned to cherish the memories and pictures that I have of her, and not dwell on the fact that there are only a few. I like to think that I know where my life is going, but in reality I have no idea. Getting pregnant, loosing a child, almost dying, each of those things would have changed my life, put them together and it's almost too much for one person to handle. But I have. And I could no have done it without you. Since April of last year I've had 32,164 pages views. I average about 100 readers a day. I often wonder who you are and what brought you here. I can't imagine why anyone would be interested in what I have to say. I was just a grieving mom, trying to make my way through a nightmare. You helped me through. Thank you.

2 comments:

O.M.G. said...

oh, what a difference a year has made. what a long, long year it must have been for you. i wish you a wonderful, upon wonderful year ahead.

JenJen said...

I so praying that you continue to grow through this experience. I don't know what kind of person you were before you lived last year, but I think you are an amazing woman for the courage and strength that you have shown. You are my UR compadre, and you were the first one to through the dingy to me when I felt like I was drowning in grief...so, thank you for your blog and all of your awesome words.

Jen