I still have not heard from my dad. It's been a few weeks. Lately, the only time I hear from him is when he's having girlfriend problems. Generally I don't mind. I seem to be the person people turn to for advice. Which is fine. But it would be nice if those people called me once in awhile for other things too. Like to make sure I'm still alive. It really doesn't hurt my feelings that he hasn't called. It pisses me off!
I grew up living with my mom about an hour away from my dad. He was a very typical "weekend dad". Which meant that if it wasn't his weekend, we didn't see or hear from him. He always paid his child support, and never forgot our birthday. But, we never got a phone call on our birthday- just a gift on his weekend that was closest to it. When I met my husband his daughter's mom was still alive, and she lived with her mom because he lived an hour away from them. He would call his daughter almost every night and I thought that was so strange. It was foreign to me.
After I had my son, my father and I grew closer. We spent a lot of time together, even though he lives two hours away. Lately, since he has this new girlfriend, it seems that he doesn't have time for us anymore. She does not like it when he spends time with us and not her. Even though she refuses to come most of the time. I always make her feel welcome. I figure that if she makes him happy, then I can put on my happy face for the short time I spend with her. They broke up in January, and he's been calling me more often. I have a feeling that they are back together. That would explain his silence. Most of the time he doesn't even return my calls when they are together.
Do I sound like an adolescent? I feel like a 10 year old who wants her daddy's attention! I feel ridiculous even writing this because it seems so juvenile. But the fact of the matter is that my dad has really pissed me off my totally forgetting Brenna's birthday. The saddest part for me is that I knew he would forget. I just knew it.
I started this blog in 2008 after the stillbirth of my daughter. Now it's not just about loss, but about life.
3 comments:
Holly,
No matter how old you are you want love and support from your parents. Your father is trying to get his life back together, which is fine....but not at the expense of cutting off his relationship with you. Well, that is a different story. But....BUT no matter what his reasonings are for not calling you as often as he should..... there is absolutely no reason for him to forget Brenna's birthday! You know, maybe it is your turn to call him about something that is bothering you. Put the burden of your grief on him by telling him your feelings about Brenna's birthday. Make him talk to you about it. Maybe he will realize and apologize for not calling you on such a special ocassion. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this on top of dealing with your grief for Brenna. *hugs*
I'm sorry you are dealing with this from your dad right at this time. My dad was pretty absent for most of my life. In fact, I didn't see him from the time I was three until I was 15, but through it all, I still loved him and still wanted to see him. I'm not sure what it is, if there is some kind of biological pull there to want them around even if they have hurt you. Anyway, my dad died almost 10 years ago, and there are times when I wish I could call him up.
Makes total sense to me. No matter how much I know my mother isn't warm, I'll occasionally beg for some kind words from her. When it doesn't happen, it makes me sadder than it should.
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