1.Do you feel as though a higher entity/supreme being/energy force has a presence in your life? What do you call it, and what makes you feel it exists?
Yes, I believe that very much. God. I've felt his presence at the most critical times in my life.
2. Describe, in a word or two, the nature of your spiritual self before and then after the loss of your baby/babies.
3. Do you pray, even if you wouldn’t call it praying? To whom? What for?
I pray daily. For everything... you, me, peace, needs, safety... you name it-- I've prayed for it.
4. Is there a particular line of scripture/teaching/sentiment that you find particularly helpful? Or is there one that’s commonly referred to but is unhelpful?
There isn't one that I think of. What I don't find helpful is when people say things like, "God needed another angel" or stuff like that. Of course I believe she is an angel, but I don't believe God took her so he could have her.
5. Did your faith offer rites, rituals or teachings that acknowledged your baby and your healing? If not (or if you didn't seek it out in an organized fashion), what rites, rituals or mantras have you adopted as your own?
We had a funeral, does that count?
6. Some people say that in a foxhole (a desperate, life-threatening situation), there are no atheists. You’ve been in a foxhole. Discuss.
I think Steven Curtis Chapman said it best. (His daughter recently died when she was struck by a car driven by her older brother.) He said, "The only thing more frightening than walking through what we're walking through with our faith, would be to walk through it alone, cursing God." I can not imagine the despair I would feel if I did not have my faith in God. I can not fathom the emptiness I would feel if I did not believe I would see my daughter in heaven when I die. I do believe that my faith in God is the reason why I've been able to "bounce back" after my loss. That's not to say I haven't had my bad days, because I have. But overall, I think I'm doing rather well, all things considered. I also find that, in general, women who have a very strong faith in God have an easier time grieving. (I know that does not apply to everyone, and I don't mean to imply that if you are having a hard time you don't have a strong faith. It's just a general observation.)