These days I avoid most "rainbow baby" blogs, and most "dead baby" blogs for that matter. There are a select few I read, but honestly not many at all anymore. It hurts my heart (literally) to read of someone else having a rainbow baby. I don't like feeling that way, but I do. I am jealous. I wish it were me. When I read those type of blogs it just stirs up those feelings again. I can not for the life of me understand why someone who doesn't even take care of their children gets to have four living, healthy, beautiful children, but I only get one. Then I feel guilty, because I am so grateful for the one I do have here with me, and I don't want anyone to think I'm not. I'm probably more grateful for him than she is for all four of hers!
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of what my life would be like with her here. The grieving is over, but the mourning never ends.