Friday, March 28, 2008

I don't say her name.

I don't know why, but when talking about my daughter I can't bring myself to say her name. I always say she or the baby. It's like if I say her name then she is real and everything that happened is real and I don't want to face it. I make an effort to use her name when I'm writing this blog, and it honestly is hard! I'm going to TRY my darndest to start using her name. I want to remember she is a person. It's just still so raw, it might take awhile before I can say her name

1 comment:

Kristi said...

Holli, Brenna is just beautiful, and tiny, and perfect. I often think about you and other moms that were due right around the same time we were. I'm so glad to see that you started writing... it is so helpful (for me at least). I'm also very thankful to read your point of view. It's all to often that every day is lived in total bitterness after a tragedy like this. I think your road to healing will be lit much brighter with your outlook. --- so, totally unrelated to "the club", I was Jenna and Mason's 'secret mommy' for our Oct. '05 kiddos (small world huh!?)