TOOT-TOOT!

I usually go grocery shopping on the weekends. It seems that everyone in the free world is shopping at my local grocery store on the weekends, so I don't like to go shopping on the weekends. Unfortunately, this is the only time I have, so lately I've been going late at night. I've also been dragging my husband with me. We like to go late at night because the 24-hour Store is almost empty at, say, 11 p.m. Works for me. In and out.

A few weeks ago we were shopping late at night. We hadn't seen any other shoppers, and had the place to ourselves. I was picking out a spaghetti sauce, which is a task I take pretty seriously. My husband came down the isle behind me, just as I reach up to a high shelf and let a huge fart rip. I wasn't that worried about it because no one else was around us. "Wow!" I said "That was disgusting!" A second later it began to smell. "Ew! What did I eat!?!" I laughed a little laugh, and concentrated on my spaghetti sauce. "What kind do you like?" I asked my husband. He didn't answer me and I turned around and asked him again. There, looking at me with horror, was a man I had never seen before. I face instantly turned red. "Oh, I'm sorry" I said "I thought you were my husband." As if shitting my pants is OK as long as my husband is around! He didn't say anything to me, just starred at me. I abandoned the spaghetti sauce and ran down the isle to my husband who had no idea what had just happened. Of course we ran into that guy two more times, and I couldn't even look him in the eye.