Tuesday, October 20, 2009

IT WASN'T ENOUGH

I only had 75 days with her.



It took my awhile to find out I was pregnant, because the thought seemed so crazy to me. I hadn't even considered it. It wasn't until she was making me vomit every second of every day that I realize I may have a baby in there.



I did.



75 days later, I didn't.



I don't cry everyday anymore, but I still cry.



It just doesn't seem fair.



I am happy with my life right now, but I can't help but think that it shouldn't be like this. It should be different. She should be here. If she was here, life would be very different right now. I can't help but think that.



75 days just isn't long enough.

10 comments:

Lea said...

Nope - it's never long enough.....

Emily said...

Just reading your profile and realizing exactly how much we have in common. Here's to hoping we both get some peace....

Tristansmommy said...

I agree, definitely not long enough, and how totally different your life would be with precious Brenna here, I think the same thing all the time with myself and Tristan, how different life would be, how different WE would be as a whole, a mommy, a person.. I just wanted to reach out and give you a big ol' virtual ((((HUG)))

Ali said...

You are right it's not long enough. I just lost my daughter on 10/10/2009 due to an incompetent cervix at 19 wks 6 days gestation and I am currently just broken. I dont know how you move on, but I am trying to find my way.

margaret said...

It's never enough time. No time is enough when your child dies before you do. Hugging you

JenJen said...

I don't think there could ever be enough days with our babies...

((HUGS))

Aunt Becky said...

Absolutely not fair.

Kristy said...

So so right...
xo

Funsize said...

I don't think any amount of time is long enough, not when they get taken away. It's all too soon. It's so unfair.

xo

Lindsay said...

You're right, not near long enough. I'm so sorry. I know how it aches...
Love..