Monday, March 7, 2011

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL



ook Brenna's picture off this site a few months ago because I had read on other blog how people were stealing their pictures. I didn't want anyone to do something with her picture.

But I realize that some of the people who are new to this blog probably don't know what she looks like. So here she is:


I think some people are shocked that a 19 week 5 day fetus actually looks like a baby. I've had other mother's ask me why she looks so good. They tell me that when their baby was delivered they were very red and almost bloody looking. The truth is, I don't know. She looked like a baby. There was nothing bloody or red about her. I think I remember the nurse telling me they did something to her when she was born to stop her from deteriorating. I'm not going to think about that. I know that after she was born pathology had her for a few hours to determine if there was anything wrong with her or the placenta (they found nothing). They are the ones who determined her gestational age, because at the time I found out I was pregnant I didn't know when my last period was so we were a little off on her due date.

This is the picture the nurse took. I have a few that I took, and I treasure them.

The only regret I have is that we buried her with these clothes on. I wish I would have kept them. I really wanted them, but I didn't want to bury her naked. Now I wish I would have at least kept her hat...

Anyway, if you ever come to my house this picture is on display in my living room. My mom has it on display in her house, as does my grandmother. Some people would be disturbed by that, but those are the people who've never been touched by stillbirth.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

JenJen has left a new comment on your post "SHE'S BEAUTIFUL":

Brenna is beautiful! You and Brenna hold such a special place in my heart! xoxo

I took Lily's pics off my blog, too, but included one of the 3 of us together on my anniversary post the other day. To be honest, I've been nervous about it being on there and will be taking it down soon. I wanted to show a pic of her on a special post because many new readers haven't seen a pic of Lily, either...

B's Mom said...

Jen, I don't plan on leaving this picture up for long either. A few months ago I was looking at tattoo websites, and I came across a picture of my own tattoo. The only place someone I don't know could have gotten it from was this blog, so it creeped me out a little. That's when I took her picture down.

Bethany said...

I always remember Brenna on March
5th - since that is only 2 days after I had lost my Scarlett Victoria. I just wanted you to know that. I remember, I care, and I won't forget.
Bethany

The Fabulous Ms. Beth said...

beautiful :)

Kristy said...

And she is so beautiful, your Brenna. xo I know when we first 'met' I looked at your Brenna's picture a lot...
I look and think of your Brenna, and of our Brenna and then the thoughts go in their own direction as usual.

It's a great photo to have... I too would treasure it... not that anyone wishes to ever have photos in quite the way we do, of course.

I always pop in to see what you're up to and how you're 'doing' via your blog, especially round 'dates'.

xo

Courtney said...

She is so precious. Like a tiny doll. My thoughts are with you.

Trish said...

She really is beautiful and precious.

Kristi said...

You know my thoughts, and I still think she's stunning <3. If you would like to keep her pic up, I can put a watermark on it for you. Just a thought. xoxo

Crystal Theresa said...

Brenna is a such a beauty. I'm glad to see her again, even if it's briefly. I definitely understand needing to protect her and your photos. It makes me so sad and angry that there are so many trolls out there. It makes me want to slap their faces with a big fish.

Reese said...

Perfect and beautiful.

XOXO--Reese

Anonymous said...

She is so precious. I am sorry for your loss, but what a beautiful memory of her!