UP AND DOWN

Life is so much less stressful now that I'm laid off. Even though I knew it was coming- and I actually welcomed it- it still was a blow. But money-wise we are fine. We life a pretty frugal life to begin with (no credit cards, cash for everything- even our cars). Last night my son dropped a bomb on me- he wants to go to a private high school next year. He's in a private school now. It is a blessing. I love his school, and so does he. But they don't go past eighth grade, and he'll be a freshman next year. We had talked about it before, and he was undecided. He was leaning towards a public high school close to us, but not our district. My husband and I were happy with that decision. We've pretty much left it up to him because he's the one going there, and academically they are both great. When we initially discussed it we had the financial means to make a $600 a month tuition payment. Now we don't. As it is, I don't even know how I"m going to pay for my own tuition to community college.

Can you say guilty?

I feel horrible. I don't want to tell him no. I would do anything to make this happen for him. But I just don't know how we could even swing that. Honestly, we couldn't even afford a $300 payment right now.

It's all I've thought about for the last day. I'm stressed out over it and I feel sick to my stomach about it.

But, I've come to the realization that if it's meant to be it will happen. I will do everything in my power to make it happen for him, but if it's not meant to be I won't be able to make it.

I really want this for him. He is a fantastic student. His teacher told us that he believes Brendan should be able to get a full academic scholarship. I know everyone thinks thier kid is smart, but mine really is. He's really smart. If he's taking his schooling this seriously, and wants to go to a good school this bad, how do I tell him we can't afford it?