When I was 16 I had a serious boyfriend. His name was "Don" and he was a total prick. I apparently had a thing for "bad boys" which turned out to be what I would now call "losers". Don was one of these. He skipped school. Smoked pot. Had no curfew. All the things that scared the shit out of my mother.
Don also expected sex. If he didn't get laid in the first month he'd dump the girl. I made it very clear from day one that he wasn't getting that from me. (And he didn't!) I don't know if he saw that as a challenge or if he really had feelings for me, but he stayed with me for a long time, even though we weren't having sex (or anything even close to sex!).
Around this same time I rekindled a friendship with my oldest friend. We had went to the same preschool together, then the same private school, and ended up at the same high school. We grew up a few blocks apart, and I have many memories of playing with her as a child. We rode the same bus, and many times I'd go to her house after school. Her name was "Candy". We started hanging out more and more, and had fun together.
One day I was riding with my step-dad to pick up my mom from work. I remember it clear as day: We drove past Candy's house and as we pass it I see Candy and Don kissing on her front porch. I calmly asked my step-dad to pull over. He pulled into the next driveway. I got out of the car. As soon as Candy saw me she ran in the house. Don came towards me and tried to laugh it off. I can't remember what I said, but I'm sure it wasn't nice. I basically told him I hated him. I broke up with him, got back in the car and ordered my poor step-dad to drive away.
Don tried to call me and make up. We'd broken up and got back together 100 times like you do when you're in high school. This time I just wouldn't budge. The only reason she had even met him was because of me, and they had probably onlytalked 5 times. I was really hurt that she did that to me. She was someone I knew since I was three years old. I didn't talk to her either.
Until about a month later when she called me in the middle of the night. She cried to me that he had hit her. That he was mean to her. That all her wanted was sex. I listened to her, and was nicer than I should have been. I didn't talk to her all summer after that.
When our junior year began it was obvious that Candy was pregnant. She ended up having a boy before the year ended. I even remember what she named him. I can't remember much about her after that. I don't even know if she graduated with our class. I know Don didn't. I don't even think he started junior year. I didn't see him for the rest of high school.
The summer after I graduated I saw him. I was working in a bar. It was the hottest bar in the area. People would be lined up around the block to get it. I thought I was pretty hot shit. One night I was working and I saw Don. I couldn't believe he was there. When he saw me his face actually lit up and he came over to say hi like we were old friends. I asked him how he got in and he bragged he had a fake ID. He kept trying to talk to me, and I blew him off. I went and told one of the bouncers that he and his friend had fake ID's. Their whole group got thrown out. He kept saying "Why are you doing this?" I finally said, "Because I hate you!" Someone from his group ended up getting into a fight in the bar parking lot. The police got called and two of them got arrested.
It was the sweetest revenge I ever experienced.
I started this blog in 2008 after the stillbirth of my daughter. Now it's not just about loss, but about life.
7 comments:
Wow. Not what I expected to read. I stumbled upon your blog from bbc. I am sorry for your loss. Is this post kind of ia writing exercise/journal topic? I personally think revenge is what is wrong with the world. Yes, you were hurt by your friend and dick bf, but how can you feel good that she got pregnant and didn't graduate and then you ratted on him first chance you got? Apparently this happened before your infertility/loss, so the hate was there beforehand. Seriously, where has the hate for others gotten you? Not trying to be rude or overly judgemental. I think people that hate and take revenge are judgemental. Is that really who you are?
Oh yes... her getting a boy kicked out of a bar is really what's wrong with the world. *rolls eyes*
And her infant loss and scorned lover story? APPLES AND ORANGES. How dare you bring that up here? And it's always so cute how you people run around and post negative comments anonymously. Too scared to say what you want to say with your name behind it? Furthermore, if you say something but don't admit you said it, did you REALLY say anything at all?
I think it's an honest post and an interesting memory. Teen love is so complicated and you were strong enough not to give in to a loser and to drop him rather than cling - who knows how many young girls might read this and *listen* to your story???? And we babyloss mummas are entitled to think about lots of things from our lives. Revenge is very human no matter how hard we might strive for better ideals. I'm sorry for your baby loss and glad you shared. Don't mind the silly nastiness of anonymous cowards. (((Hugs)))
I don't think it was hateful at all. I just think I was 18 and jilted, and it felt good to embarass him after he had embarassed me. I'm not going to make excuses for that. I'm only human, and I was being honest.
I also think it's funny that someone would judge me, and then accuse me of being judgemental.
I don't make a habit of deleting comments. The deleted comment above was one I wrote that had a spelling error.
I stand up next to the Queen of the World and yell "YEAH!!!"
If you're gonna be a d!ck then get a pair to match!
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