Sunday, September 13, 2009

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Today is our Anniversary. I can not believe we've been married this long. I still remember the first day I met my future husband. I honestly had no idea I would one day marry him.

Our life together has not been perfect. At times it's been down right horrible. But we've always stuck together. Pushed through. I had someone recently ask me how we managed to stay together and be happy when there were so many things against us. I didn't know what the answer was. Now that I think about it, I think I know:

Divorce has never been an option. There was a time when things were not well. I really thought about leaving. Once I decided that was not something I was willing to do, then I had to look for ways to fix the things that were wrong in our relationship. It didn't happen overnight. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. But it worked. When we both committed to fixing our problems, we found solutions.

I treat my husband like a stranger. If I bumped into a stranger in the store, I'd say "Excuse me". If someone I didn't know picked up something I dropped I'd tell them "Thank you". I was surprised at how many people didn't do those things for their spouses. I think it's sad to see people treat strangers better than they treat their own family! I just don't understand it. If my husband does something for me I tell him thank you. If I accidental ram into him with the cart I tell him I'm sorry. I'm polite to him, and he is to me. It's really not that big of a deal, but you'd be surprised how many people don't do it. (Perfect example of this: Kate Gosselin. I used to watch that show and wonder why her husband put up with the way she spoke to him. She spoke down to her husband in a way that she would never have done to a stranger. I was not surprised when they separated.)

I learned it's OK to be wrong. This was a big one for me. For some reason I had this thing were I always had to be right. Even if I was wrong, and I knew I was wrong, I couldn't admit it. It took a long time (and lots of arguments) for me to realize it's OK to be wrong. I remember the first time I admitted I was wrong. I don't remember what I was wrong about, but I remember my husband's reaction. He paused for a minute. And we didn't fight. I admitted my wrong doing so there wasn't anything to fight about. But I remember that pause. Now I will fess up to my mistakes. I don't always like it. I don't always willingly do it. But I will admit it. It has made life a lot easier.

Our marriage is far from perfect. We have our arguments. (Although, I have to say I can't remember the last time we really had a fight.) Sometimes we drive each other insane. I tend to think part of the reason we lasted this long is because my husband is very patient with me. I honestly can't imagine anyone else putting up with me like he does. For that I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Happy Anniversary, Honey. I love you more each and every day.

5 comments:

margaret said...

Happy Anniversary. Anything worth having is worth fighting for, congrats on your love and commitment to each other, it's tough sometimes, especially when you've lost a child. Hugs to you both.

Jayme said...

Happy anniversary! I too often wonder how my husband puts up with me :) LOL

JenJen said...

I LOVE your honesty and perspective on marriage. Happy Anniversary!

On a Jon Gosselin note, I would high-five him for leaving that nag if it weren't for all those kids. Now, he's acting like a bachelor...but, you're so right~ you should never talk to your partner like a child.

Aunt Becky said...

I had the same problem with Kate! I felt the same way! I couldn't handle the way she spoke to her husband.

Happy anniversary!

Connie's Confessions said...

Happy Anniversary!!!