Monday, August 9, 2010


I hate flying. No, scratch that. I fear flying. In fact, it terrifies me. When we were thinking about going to Hawaii the thought of flying made me sick to my stomach. Someone suggested I ask my doctor for a prescription for Val.ium. I tried it, and it worked wonderfully. The flight was great, and I felt fine.

It was the first time I felt "fine" in a long time.

I can't remember the last time I felt that way.

I can't remember the last time I thought about my son and didn't have some sort of gut-wrenching panic hit me. On a daily basis I worried about something. Everything. Worried to the point of not sleeping well. Being awoken by feelings of sheer panic.

I really did not realize how bad it had gotten until I took that Val.ium for my flight and felt normal again. I didn't realize that I wasn't feeling normal! I didn't realize I was feeling this way!

You know me, I'm not one to pop pills if there is a natural way to try first.

About three weeks ago I started taking Passion Flower. At first I didn't really see a difference, but now I can totally see it. I don't feel any different. I just don't have those moments of sheer panic or stomach pain like I used to. I don't find myself dwelling on things like I had been doing. I feel much more relaxed.

I'm surprised how bad it had gotten without me realizing it.

**It goes without saying I am not a doctor. If you feel like you have a problem you should speak with your doctor.**

1 comment:

Denise said...

One of the most difficult challenges in my healing has been dealing with the panic of something going wrong. Being forced to realize that your child can be gone in an instant and there is nothing you can do to stop it is an incredibly scary thought. With time, it has gotten better. I am glad you have found some relief and hope your recovery continues.