Tuesday, August 18, 2009


We went to a wedding this past weekend. About 6 years ago, the groom's best friend was killed in a car accident. I remember it well, because he was friends with my stepdaughter, and she called home in tears the night he died.

I did not know the boy's mother at the time, but I have recently met her. We were at a function together this summer, and she started talking about her son. I saw the uncomfortable looks of the people around us. I ignored them. She shared her story about her son. She bragged about him as if he was still alive. The other people in the group shifted in their seats, clearly uneasy. I know the look from experience. We talked about her son, and I purposely asked questions about him.

The thing that strikes me about this boy and his best friend (the groom) is that the groom has never forgotten him. Even all these years later, he still remembers him in everything he does. At the wedding they played a song for him (one of many) and the DJ announced it was for TZ (his initials). It wasn't a sad, slow song like one would expect. It was a dance song, and I thought it was fitting. His mom was sitting at the table next to me, and as soon as they said TZ I looked over at her. The song begins with no real music, just the words "It's been so long. That I haven't seen your face. I'm trying to be strong. But the strength I have is washing away." As soon as the first words were sung, she lifted her head up and closed her eyes. As if those words were painful and healing at the same time. I knew what she was feeling. I knew she was thinking about her son all night long. I knew that she was thinking how she would never be at his wedding. I knew it was painful. In the middle of the song she turned to her husband and said, "I want to go home". My heart just broke for her. But I also know that she knows how loved her son was, and I know that must bring her great comfort.

1 comment:

Emily said...

Not to compare our losses to hers, but I wonder if that's a glimpse of us in the future....