Emotionally I have really healed. How do I know? Because when I hear someon announce their pregnancy, I no longer feel any twinges of jealousy. Instead I truely, deeply feel happy for them. Especially if it is someone who has suffered a loss or struggled with infertility. I really feel their joy. It's been a long time since I've been able to share in that.
Today I had to go to a friends house. It's only the second time I've seen her baby girl. We were pregnant at the same time, and we were excited because we were both having girls. When I heard her baby was born a few months ago I was heartbroken. Today, when I saw her it didn't even occur to me to be sad. I smiled at her, and actually enjoyed her.
And I meant it.
That is a big deal. For those of you who've suffered a loss, you know how painful it is to be around pregnant ladies or newborns. For me it was physically painful. I haven't felt that pain in quite some time.
I'm glad it's gone.
I'm really proud of how far I've come.
I started this blog in 2008 after the stillbirth of my daughter. Now it's not just about loss, but about life.
3 comments:
Those are good signs. You are right, that's a big deal. You should be proud of yourself. As someone here in blogland told me once (I forget who), you are a conquerer!
THAT is awesome!!!
and more than just awesome, REALLY and truly awesome..lol..
seriously, it is quite the achievement..
be proud of yourself!!
That's excellent news.
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