COMING TO TERMS

My cycles have been crazy these past few months. One month my period will come as expected, the next month is it will be two, sometimes three weeks late. This last time it was late of course the thought of pregnancy crossed my mind. For a moment I felt a little excited, but mostly I felt afraid. I don't know what a pregnancy would mean for my health, because there is no way to tell how my scar will hold up. There is the distinct possibility my uterus would re-reupture. A pregnancy would be high risk. My rupture occured at the top of my uterus, an area that is the thinnest part of your uterus to began with. It would be touchy. I would have to be monitored closely, and most certainly have to deliver early.

Besides the health aspect, the fact of the matter is I like my life how it is. I don't really want to chance things.

Of course if we had a baby, I would love it. That goes without saying.

But I'm happy now. I'm content with it, and I've learned to cherish what I have.

It's taken me awhile to accept. But I've come to terms with the fact that another baby is not in the cards for us. And I'm OK with that.