G = GIVEAWAY

We are having our first giveaway! So excited about this. The beautiful and talented Melissa at Le Femme D'Espirit has created two necklaces specially for the readers of this blog.

The winner will have their choice of one of the above necklaces, AND their choice of either matching ear rings or a matching child's necklace (Isn't Melissa awesome?).

But wait, that's not all.

The winner will also receive a $25 gift certificate for Barnes and Noble.

Jewelry and books, two of my favorite things!

How to enter? It's simple. Leave a comment below, but be sure to include some way for me to contact you if you win (link to your blog, Twitter, email, etc.), or leave a comment on the Living Without Brenna Facebook page.

Bonus: If you leave a comment on this post and on the Facebook page I will enter you into the drawing twice!

A winner will be chosen on Monday the 11th at 5pm EST using random.org.

In the meantime go check out Le Femme D'Espirit and see the beautiful jewelry for sale there. See something you like? My readers can use the coupon code BLOG10 to get an extra 10% off from their purchase.

FU MANCHU

F is for Fu Manchu, and as we speak my dog is sporting an awesome one. She's a shih tzu, so her fur is more like hair and has to be cut about every six weeks. Over the weekend she got into who-knows-what and I ended up having to shave the bottom of her chin. Now she has long hair on either side of her mouth.

She is so 80's.

This is what she usually looks like. I tried to take a picture now but
she must be to embarrassed because she keeps hiding her face.

This post is part of the A to Z Challenge.

EDUCATION

"Would you be disappointed if I grew up to be a poor dirt farmer?" my son asked.

"No," I told him. "I just want you to be happy. But I expect you to go to college and get an education. I want you to be educated. If after college you decide you want to be a goat farmer then that's alright with me. Because you will be a goat farmer because you want  to be one not because you don't have any other choice. Education is freedom, and I want you to be free to do whatever makes you happy".

This post is part of the A to Z Challenge.

DIVORCE

My parents were divorced when I was in kindergarten. I still remember my mom telling me they weren't going to be married anymore. It didn't really change anything for me because they had lived separately for most of my life. I remember not understanding how divorced was different from married.

I got married when I was 21. By that time we already had a son together and we'd been living together for three years. I told my future husband I was only going to get married once. If we got married we were going to make it work, not matter what. He had been married once before, he had went through a divorce and had no desire to go through one again.

I loved him when I got married. As much as my 21 year old heart could. I think our ability to love and really appreciate those in our life gets greater as we get older. When we are 21 we know what love is, we just don't know how deep love can be.

My husband was 37 when we got married. He had a 12 year old daughter who had lost her mother a few years before. There was a lot of baggage that I didn't exactly know how to handle. But I was willing to take it on, for him. Besides, I had a lot of my own shit that he had to deal with.

Our marriage has not always been perfect. There have been some very rough patches. There have been times I've hated him; wondered why we ever got married. There have been times I've looked for apartments. Once I packed to leave. But in the end we always worked it out. We love each other. We are together because we want to be.

These days our marriage is the best it's ever been. I love my husband with my whole heart. He is my partner. We are a team. I know it sounds so cheesy, but it's true. I could not imagine being without him. We do everything together. He is the first person I think of in the morning and the last person I think of at night.

That is what I want for my children. I want them to be with someone who cherishes them. Who sees how wonderful they are. Who loves them even though they aren't perfect.

My step-daughter was married three years ago. I thought she had found that in her husband.

Last week they decided to get a divorce. Although I knew their marriage wasn't perfect, I was still blindsided because I know they love each other. They seemed to be working on it. Their marriage is so young, it seems a shame to stop working on it now. Especially when they still love each other. I think the problem today is everyone thinks marriages should just be good. They don't realize that you have to work at them. It take a lot of time and energy to build a marriage.

Great marriages don't just happen. They are made.

As I sit and type this their wedding photo is facing me. At the bottom of the picture frame is says "MEANT TO BE".

We shall see...







This post is part of the A to Z Challenge.

C IS FOR CRAP...

... and that's what I feel like. I hope you're not expecting much today because I'm high off cold meds and can't form a basic thought let alone a whole blog post. Typing this is taking all the energy I can muster.

I will be back tomorrow. Hopefully.

This post is part of the A to Z Challenge.

BIRTH

This story has been in the news in my state lately. A 13 year old girl was taken to the hospital after being sick. She lives in a very small town and the hospital there doesn't handle obstetrics so when they discovered that her "illness" was related to pregnancy they transfered her to a larger hospital. At the larger hospital it was discovered she has had recently given birth.

The baby was found dead in the attic of her friend's home.

As if that wasn't horrible enough it seems like everyday more craziness comes out.

The next day we find out she is pregnant by a 16 year old. Then we find out he has the same last name as her and they are related (No one will confirm how they are related. They don't want to make a "bad situation worse".) and lived in the same home.

The autopsy revealed the baby was stillborn.

Next thing you know the family is in the news again because their house was unfit to live in. They haven't had electricity in over a year, and didn't have running water. Eleven dogs were confiscated and a few had to be put to sleep because they were in such poor shape. She gave birth to the baby at a friends house because that is where she was staying because of the condition of her home. They had to force her parents to leave the house because they wouldn't leave.

It seems like everyday there is something new, and my heart just breaks for this poor girl.

What a horrible situation to be in. She either didn't know she was pregnant or hid her pregnancy, and gave birth alone to a dead baby. I can't imagine how horrible that must be. Then to have it on the news 10 times a day. The town she lives in is so small, everyone knows and rumors are flying. Her home life sounds like a nightmare. Her entire life is a nightmare right now.

Everyone seems to have an opinion on this tragedy. My heart hurts for this poor girl. I really hope she gets the help she needs.

I'm so excited! This blog is having it's first GIVEAWAY! Details to come...

This post is part of the A to Z Challenge.

ADOLESCENCE

My son is growing up. As unbelievable as it is to me he is going to be in high school next year. When did this happen?

He's a bit of a thinker, and comes up with some interesting questions. Yesterday he jokingly asked me what I would do if I had a gay child. This got me thinking. I had to tell him the truth: I have mixed feelings. I would love my children no matter what, that isn't a question. But I think I would fear for my child if they were gay. We all want our kids to have an easy life, and I don't think that being gay is the easiest life a person could live.

And I believe in God. I've read the bible and I know what it says about homosexuality. I've also read what it says about judging other people.

I can not stand people who hide behind the bible to spread hate and bigotry.

I can't stand people who quote one verse of the bible but forget the others.

Now, how do you relay that to a 14-year-old? How do I put it in terms he can understand? Especially when I don't understand it myself!

What I told him is that Leviticus 20:13 says: "'If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death;..." but the verse right before it (Leviticus 20:12) says: "'If a man sleeps with his daughter-in-law, both of them must be put to death. What they have done is a perversion;..." and I don't see anyone picketing or beating people up because of that. According to the bible they are both equally wrong.

He was quiet for a minute and thought about what I said.

Then I reminded him that our church teaches us all sin is equal. I told him that I didn't understand why some people think being gay is the ultimate sin but when someone has an affair on their wife they don't seem to mind, but they are both sins according to the bible. He thought about it longer, and still didn't really say much.

I reminded him I have friends who are gay.

Finally I decided to tell him honestly what I felt. I said, "The truth is, it's none of our business. What people do in the privacy of their own bedrooms isn't my business and it isn't your business either. Who someone chooses to have sex with doesn't have anything to do with me. It's between them and God."

The word "sex" coming out of my mouth was enough to make the poor kid want to jump out of the car. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but with me at that moment.

Still, I think he got the message.

The teen years are awful. Especially when they ask about things you are still trying to figure out for yourself.

This post is part of the A to Z Challenge.