A Miracle

Things are not looking great for Jenell's girls. But there is hope. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. Call me an optomist, but for some reason I feel like this story is going to have a happy ending...

Link

Here is a link to Jenell's blog. She can keep you better updated than I can.
http://robnjenstwins.blogspot.com/

Update

Update on Jenell and her twins. She's still pregnant!!! Yay!

Last I heard they were doing something to take some fluid off hoping her bag of waters would go back done where it belongs. (Sorry I can't be more specific). Things were still the same though. She is dilated to 3, which isn't good. They can't do a cerclage because the bag of waters is bulging. She is only 21 weeks along, and they don't give steroids until 24 weeks. So she is hoping to hold on for 3 more weeks until the girls have chance for survival. She lost her first daughter about 10 months ago. I am being very optimistic because I just can't imagine loosing three daughters in less than a year. She says she feels very calm, and isn't panicky at all. She's very strong.

Keep the positive thoughts coming.

Prayers Needed

My BBC "friend" Jenell is in the hospital at 21 weeks with her twins. All I know is that her bag of waters is bulging and they have her inverted. She also suffers from PCOS and struggled to concieve. Please send her all the positive energy you can. No one can handle the loss of three children in less than a year.

Her Name in the Sand

http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/2008/10/brenna-johnson.html

The Choice

My friend's cousin died yesterday in a car accident. He wasn't someone I knew very well, but my husband was casual friends with him. I was online signing the guestbook for the funeral home, when I read something that I had to share with you all. It was written by the mother of one of his friends.

"...He became one of many boys who called me "Ma!" ... T___ had a way of touching everyone's heart. The thing I look forward to in entering Heaven, is hearing T___'s voice yelling, "Maaaa!" May the Lord hold and comfort you and your family as you face the coming days. May your memories and those of others comfort you. May you realize that Jesus weeps with you. And may you come to see that whatever you are feeling, it's okay. May you make the choice not to become bitter and closed, but open. And may you realize that God is sitting with you, fully present, grieving your loss- but also restoring you. And in that, may you find hope. Much Love, J___"

The part that sticks out to me is "May you make the choice not to become bitter and closed, but open". I've never thought of it as a choice, but it is. We either choose to dwell on our loss forever, or accept it and move on. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting, it just means letting go. Letting go of the anger, and the sadness, and the depression, even the guilt. It's not easy. But it's doable. It's also necessary if you ever want to have any semblance of a life.

I also appreciate when she says whatever they are feeling is OK. It's nice to know that you are not insane or evil for feeling some of the feelings that go along with grief.

I wish someone would have told me this when I lost my baby.

We All Have A Little Fight In Us

So it's safe to say I now live in a small rural town. I grew up in the city, but moved out here with my husband after his father died. His mom was alone, on a farm. We moved out here to help her out, and had plans on moving back within a year. That was 12 years ago.

Our community is small. It's the kind of place where everyone knows everyone's business. Rumors spread like wildfire. Secrets are few in this town. But it's also a very safe place to live. Up until a month ago, I didn't even carry a key to my house. We just didn't lock it when we left. Still don't most of the time. Crime is rare in my town. I doubt the police would even know how to investigate a serious crime. Drunk driving is the most frequent crime in this town.

That's why what happened here a few weeks ago was so shocking.

A woman awoke to find a man standing over her bed. This woman is our school's crossing guard. She's so nice to everyone, always smiling and waving. I don't think she has an enemy in the world. She's just a really wonderful person that everyone knows as "the crossing guard lady". She's also batteling cancer. Even through cancer, she's still at work everyday helping the kids cross the street.

Well, she woke up to see a man standing over her bed. She could smell that he had been drinking. He told her she was going to get what she deserved. Her 12-year-old son was asleep in the next room. She didn't want to wake him, or put him in danger. She also didn't want to get raped. She fought the man. They made some noise and her son woke up. He went to her room to investigate. When the man saw her son he told her that if she didn't do what he wanted, he was going to hurt her child. Bad idea. Her motherly instincts kicked in and she kicked the shit out of this guy. So much so that he ran to get away from her. She left so many marks on him that when word got out what had happened he was easily identified from the marks. His family turned him in.

What he didn't know (and no one else knew either) was that our sweet little crossing guard used to be a Detroit City police officer. She's also a black belt in karate. Afterwards she said it was the threat to her son that sent her off. The instinct of a mother is a wonder of nature.

B___ you are my hero!